Yes I ahve purposely put myself in a situation where a rape could occure.

my first post
 

Hello

I have a lot of history with rape and rape fantasies which I am sure will come out in different posts. And I don't know why, but I felt compelled to answer this post with my small experiences.

I have deliberately put myself in a position to be raped on several occasions. Twice was when I was younger, in my early 20s and once, recently, about 2 years ago. I can safely say that all 3 times have been down to2 factors - drink and self-destructiveness/depression/guilt.

The first time was actually after I saw another woman raped while I was on an exchange programme. I was shaken up and angry and very very guilty and after an argument with my friend I walked out to where I saw the rape happen. I was willing it inside, I wanted them to do it so they would be caught, so I could say something! Anything! But nothing happened.

The second time was a year or so later after a night out clubbing. It had been a terrible night and I felt very ugly and unwanted and had again argued with friends and stormed out of the club alone. It was in a bad neighbourhood, but I was determined to walk rather than spend money on a cab. After a short while I was followed by 2 boys. I did nothing to avoid them. I just shook inside with anger and fear and drink and self-loathing. They stopped me and asked for a cigarette. I told them I didn't have any. They wanted to know where I was going. I told them to piss off. They closed around me and I really felt vulnerable, but they laughed and spat in my face and walked off. I cried the rest of the way home.

Recently I divorced my husband after a frustrating 6 year relationship. I feel I have lost so much of my life and I am dealing with that in counselling. One thing I haven't told my counsellor is that a month after the divorce I repeated the same thing as before after the night out with friends at a club. This time there was no fight with friends. I deliberately left the club and walked through the black neighbourhood at 3am. No-one approached me and no-one stopped me. I got home to a tired, but well-paid babysitter completely and utterly soaked to the skin. Because of the rain. It really wasn't a sensible thing to do and I regret it now. But at the time, more than anything I was shouting inside "come on! if you want to you bastards! do it now you fuckers!"

I am getting counselling, but I know for a fact that I shouldn't be here. And yet I am. Because I choose to.

I hope that answers your question (sorry if I am a little "jaded").

Rebecca

Hi

Welcome to the board - sorry to hear what you've been through.
Remember, though, your presence here doesn't need to be self-destructive. It can also be a safe place to figure out your fantasies.

Just be careful of the perverts and the depraved ones....wait, that's all of us. :)

When I was in college, a girl gave me some stuff that was not to be known while she was drunk & evidence that even supported her claims. Family info that not only implicated her but several others with serious white collar crimes. She even made the comment that I had better not use it to force her into anything, although it seemed pretty jokingly. Unfortunately, things went south between us. I don't know if she meant to put herself in that situation or not, but until the statute of limitations is up, she'll regret that decision a few times a year.

I had an EX GF who did this alot and Yes she was raped

not purposely no, obviously have turned up in situations where it could have happened i.e. nightclubs, parties and the like.

For me I prefer the whole idea of it happening in a everyday situation, pass 2 guys in the street and be grabbed and dragged either into a alleyway or a waiting van, or a home invasion setting.

the idea of actually going and looking for it would kind of take the surprise away but I like the thought of guys sending me emails or IM's saying they are coming after me or had seen me during the day and I then know they are out there waiting

Some amazing stories and confessions. . .would love to hear any details. In a sense I am envious in some aspects. My fetish ranges from raping to being raped (or blackmailed into sex) myself. However, as I have no interest in pitching for the other team and I doubt I will ever get a woman to take such measures with me, I doubt I could ever put myself in danger for real.

Were the fates diffrent on me and I was born a woman, I think I would still be single and possibly putting myself in danger on an almost weekly basis. . .at the very least I would have perfect the drunken hookup. . .oh well. . .

I thought I was the only one who did this. I always thought it was crazy, but yes, I've put myself into situations where it could have happened before.

When I was younger (about 12-14) I started going into all these kid chat rooms online, where some men aged 50+ asked for my address and phone number. I gave him my phone number. He called me a lot, and always tried to get me to tell him where I lived. Then I realized what I was doing, and blocked his number.

Since being at college, I walk by myself late at night in high risk areas, etc. Little things, but still make an effort. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one.

Do you have an actual fantasy of having something happen or is it a thrill just to dare the danger? Do you find yourself aroused by planning to expose yourself or is it like driving 75 in a 55 zone? A little thrilling, a little reckless but not exceptionally so.

It's more of a wanting something to happen type thing. It is one of my fantasies. I guess it could be kinda like your example about speeding. It is a huge rush, on the borderline of being obsessed.

Too bad that in this world we can't have a place for a woman to present herself to clean, safe rapists. Able to state limits, turn-ons, turn-offs and then abandon herself for a few hours.

Or days.

My sentiments exactly.

Do the looks/appearance/smell of your potential attackers play a part in your fantasies?

Are you turned on by men of a particular age? Ethnicity? Social class? Job?

How do the you, the victims feel about such things?

As far as appearance and smell go, it doesn't really matter, except the smell has to be strong enough to not be able to forget the scent of the rapist. For age, I definitely want them older, I guess anywhere from 25-50. Social class, job, and ethnicity doesn't matter to me.

There are possibilities that could add to the fantasy. A cop or district attorney who could ruin you for reporting the rape. A landlord who could evict you.

As for smell what if the rapist wore a particular cologne? Would that smell always send you back to thinking about his time with you?

Scent does play some very important roles in memory. What about the smell of your own secretions? Or the taste against his flesh. On his fingers or on his cock? Or on your own panties?

Ooh. A cop would be perfect. I don't really know any particular types of cologne, but I definitely want him to wear some.

Such interesting uses for a night stick.

Or even the gun!

Handcuffed when he finds you are a bit tipsy and driving home. He is searching you when his hand slides up under your skirt.

"Looks like I'm going to have to take you in.

Unless...."

Nautica is one brand that has been good with my body chemistry in the past. Also Black Suede (Avon). Or Stetson.

Perhaps we should start a "Colognes for rapists" thread?

Haha. Well, I go back to college Monday, so now, I think I'm just gonna go around sniffing random would-be rapists. Lol. A cologne for rapist thread is a pretty good idea. I'd like to see the responses actually.

Let's do it!

Cologne? A little off topic, but still very intriguing.