Feeling Confused
I have had rape fantasies for years, mainly about raping girls I know. But over the last year, I have fantasized about being raped, myself. This is very confusing to me, as I do not find men hot, yet have these fantasies. This has me wondering if I am bisexual or what exactly.
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Don't worry too much about labeling yourself. People tend to want to draw hard dividing lines and define categories of hetero/bi/homosexuality, but it's really more of a continuum. The best-known description of this is the Kinsey Scale, first published in the late 1940's. The Wikipedia article is a good starting point.
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I also have had fantasies heavy on force and nonconsensual elements since I was very young (see this post in the "scene that got you started" thread), usually but not always with myself as the victim, and for most of my life they involved exclusively females in either role. My fantasies of women range from hugs-and-kisses sweetness at one end through extreme S&M scenarios at the other, but I have never had any interest at all in vanilla sex with other males. In recent years, though, I've found the fantasy of being raped by other males unexpectedly arousing. It took me a while to come to terms with this myself. The excitement of this element isn't driven by sexual desire exactly. My victim fantasies are all about helplessness, the feeling of being absolutely powerless in the hands of someone who I know is going to torture and rape and do perverse things to me that I am completely unable to stop. Having the rapist be another man adds an additional layer of violation for me, a thing that I would struggle against and resist desperately, without even the whisper of I really want this that would be in my mind with a woman doing it. The fact that it is happening to me is the ultimate demonstration of my absolute helplessness, and that element overrides my gender preference and arouses me. It's the kind of fear/desire paradox that plays in many of our rape fantasies, and it is confusing. That's me, anyway. It might (and probably does) come from a completely different place for you. Maybe you're on a different spot on the Kinsey Scale than you thought, or not. Maybe your fantasy self is getting the payback he deserves for all those girls he's raped in your mind, or not. Who knows. The main thing is that it's fantasy, and needn't have anything to do with real life. |
I am normally very dom in the bedroom, but I must confess, I have also have fantasies of being raped by 2 or 3 guys. I started fantasizing about it when I read a story about a husband and wife camping and 3 guys took them and raped both of them repeatedly. I must admit I am more bi curious because of it now.
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Some people just love the dynamic, and aren't tied (heh) to one role or the other in their enjoyment. The idea of nonconsent may be equally thrilling whether victim or perpetrator.
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I am a female and i have rape fantasies that range from perpetrator or victim, male or female, gay or straight... my biggest fetish is gay rape. sometimes i imagine i'm one of the men and i often wish i had a penis so i could fuck a hot guy in the ass, but that doesn't mean i am transgender, it's just something that turns me on. it's normal to have fantasies, it doesn't change your orientation, nor do you need to choose a box to fit in. labels are just words.
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max, u should try getting pegged by a woman with a strap on. i have done that several times and everyone left satisfied.
it's awesome because i was 27 at the time (i'm 29 now) and i'm fat and shy so never get hit on by anyone, even when i was younger. but i got to fuck 2 extremely hot, like movie star hot - way out of my league, 22 year old men. not at the same time, sadly, but hopefully some day. one guy wanted to be dominated and humiliated, and i admit i wasn't a very good domme because he was so good looking i got all nervous and giggly like a high school girl. but we still had fun. the other guy just loves butt play. he says he's been doing it since he was a little kid and has a couple of big dildos he uses. he says he's willing to be fucked by a man just because it feels good. i asked if maybe he was bisexual and he said that no, he's not attracted to men at all, only women, he just loves the way it feels. it made me kind of sad cuz he had no one he could talk to about it, but he said he was really confused about it for a while and thought maybe he was bisexual, but he didn't really like guys and he couldn't tell his girlfriend because she'd think he was gay. poor baby, if he dated me i'd fuck him constantly. |
I just confess with victim girls, I seen & heard about their stories. Feeling so bad to tell their, what they feel :skull-sai :skull-tea
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Yeah right. Its quite tough to read and see them & hearing from them about their stories.. May God protect us form such type of things
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