Hellminthic Clinic - Now open
 

OK, maybe it's my recent increase in posting, but people have noticed that I am a doctor, and have pmed me some questions about health and other more "psychological" stuff, which gave me this idea. I actually enjoy giving advice on health issues (otherwise I shouldn't be a doctor!), so I thought what the heck -

I am offering to help people here with medical problems - physical, mental, acute, chronic, for yourself or family / friends etc. Either in this thread, or pm me. I will do whatever or refer you to wikipedia :)

Please, no pictures of your rashes Flesh :eek:

Cheers

No, I think it simply means you're nuts and you know one day they'll come for you. ;)

And please - PLEASE - you (all of you) have to realize Sigmund Freud's role in modern day psychology is (gently put) rather small.

I got a big problem. Every time I see Sternenlieds new avatar I get a boner, is this natural? It's just so cute. :)

Don't worry - that's perfectly normal. :)

Unfortunately - in this case that's exactly what it means. ;)

Isn't Freud perfect for this board :p

No Dr. Pavlov would be better....now respond when you here bells!:skull-big

So where the Hell is the Doc at? I have these swelling blisters all over my groin area...should I squeeze them or just let them pop on their own??:eek::rolleyes:

I had a zit in that area once. It hurt.

Oh wow - i got patients ! oh no wait, it's just a bunch of people with groin problems again ...

Must admit, I was kinda overdosing on cough syrup overnight when I posted this, so reeeeally not sure what I was thinking. I've also been informed that it may breech a few legal issues globally, so I will keep my "advice" to a minimum.

Also, I am not a psych / shrink, but I am interested in psychiatry (came second in my year!). Apparently there are some on this board - so why don't we have an open multi-discipline clinic :) Why have your dreams interpreted by just one person, when any whacko can offer you an "interpretation"?

As for all the rash / blister / zits on your penis and vaginas, please get it checked out by someone ! and please do not send me pictures of it ! Hmm ... maybe the vaginas ok ...

hmmm ... sounds as if a sane part of your is trying to escape the insane environment, but can't ... and you might have to either open some doors, suck up to a nurse, or accept your fate. :skull-evi

as for the rape - pfffssss ... not serious at all - as long as your target is only yourself.

I got a problem, I'm too handsome. Should I scar my own face??

nah, just exchange heads with your penis - sure, you might have to wear a hoodie for awhile, and can't forget to shave, but she's got a nice surprise when you unzip:D

Seriously...
 

Dear Doctor Hellminth

I respect your opinion, even if it turns out that you only play a doctor on TV...

So I ask you seriously.

I have an oral fetish. Both the giving and receiving from women.

Is this something which should be:
a) ignored - maybe it's no big deal
b) discouraged - it might stunt my psyche
c) encouraged - it may be as liberating as it feels

hmmm ... interesting ...

The mouth, in many psychiatric texts, is viewed as a portal of entry as well as an expression of the soul. The immediate gratification of "taste" is also extremely powerful, with seminal and vaginal fluid rich in pheromones, it stimulates neural transmissions that triggers hormonal, emotional, thus physical changes that can overwhelm the other senses, or even logic, leading to heightened states of arousal ...


I just made that up :) Please disregard!

I don't know, I am not a psychiatrist! But as Dr. Hellminth on TV, I would say c) - coz I am into orals and can't see any reason why it should be discouraged unless you see a rash, blisters or something moving among the bushes.

Perhaps a little too clinical?
 

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Ummm, thanx for the advice to continue. But you may have actually put me off it for awhile with that last bit of imagery... :skull-big

Thanx again for helping me feel better about being pervy...:cool:

Alrightee! I'm in....

I've a degree in Occupational Therapy, although I've never actually practised since qualifying (long story and no I wasn't struck off for scrapping peoples wheelchair ramps! ;) ). So, if you need any advice on what to do when your arm falls off or if the voices in your head are telling you to stay in bed all day, ask me. Also I'm handy around the house so if some eejit on an internet forum tells you how to install a stair rail and then your house starts falling down....

:D

hehehe cool, an OT! I knew an OT from work who's Masters was in "Setting up the bedroom post neurosurgery", which basically she was advising all these people with brain tumours and back surgery how to have sex safely without causing another head bleed or wrecking their stitches. Let's just say she recommended a lot of doggy. :)

When I came in here, I was under the impression, based on the thread title and author name, that this clinic was "pertaining to worms".

I don't have any physical things to ask to diagnose but psychological. Looks like Stern is the only one who could help but I have a very bad tendency to shop around for advice and never follow it.

:D

A former colleague of mine used to hold post op hip classes for total hip replacements when she was an assistant. She was always getting these little old ladies asking her about sex after their operation, so much so that she did a research proposal for it when she was studying, but unfortunately the board of ethics turned it down.

I knew it was fine really, I was just waiting for the right opportunity to tell you!