Jesus Was Gay!!!!

[somedude]

Jesus was gay! Yes, you read that right! Think about it. He never married, traveled around with a bunch of other men who all loved him and each other and told everyone to love one another. Now if that aint a flaming homo what is? :D

[Buzzzkill]

I knew it! He always gave me 'that vibe', like he was testing the waters. I'd never been attracted to men before but I'd suck Jesus cock just to spite Jerry Falwell. I just hope He doesn't need to be crucified to get it up.
"Mmmm, sacrilicious!"

[somedude]

I knew it! He always gave me 'that vibe', like he was testing the waters. I'd never been attracted to men before but I'd suck Jesus cock just to spite Jerry Falwell. I just hope He doesn't need to be crucified to get it up.
"Mmmm, sacrilicious!"
LMAO!!!! :D

[Rheostatic]

Well, if you believe the "Da Vinci Code", Jesus supposedly married Mary Magdaline, a former prostitute, and had kids with her.

If true, Jesus wasn't gay, JESUS WAS A PIMP!

Can you picture that? Jesus walking up to Mary Magdaline and saying "BITCH WERE MY MONEY AT?!?!"

And yes I do realize "The Da Vinci Code" is fiction, but ya gotta wonder sometimes.

[somedude]

No, Jesus was gay BlackSunShine. Judas turned him in because he was pissed Jesus would only give and not take! :D

[Grm]

As an atheist, this argument seems odd. There is no documentary proof, other than the gospels, which were written sometimes dacades after the events they purport to describe, then written and re-written over hundreds of years, sometimes deliberatly altered to fit the politics of the time. One thing is obvious to me, if Jesus did live and die, or married, or was homosexual, or had children, we will never know.
Humanist
Grm

[somedude]

That little "pat myself on the back" smiley face you do at the end of each post is gay.
Is that you Spalding/Whore/Captain/Wolf/Driftwood/Phokus? Because that line has been used before by Mister Bannned!

[gal4]

I remember those bumper stickers which some had that read,
Honk, if you love Jesus.

Then later, it went like, Jeez, if you love Honkus.


Neither one of them was funny.

No, what is funny is this. At least to me.

You know that old joke about, two cannibals eating a clown, and one says to the other, something taste funny to you?

Well, later the two cannibals are eating a priest, and finally, one shouts, "I have been saved!!", and the other one says to his buddy, "Hey, quit looke at me funny".

Oh, well, beat me, I luv it.

[somedude]

You should hook up with subgirl Gal4, she loves spanking women! :D

[Vivienne]

Jesus was gay! Yes, you read that right! Think about it. He never married, traveled around with a bunch of other men who all loved him and each other and told everyone to love one another. Now if that aint a flaming homo what is? :D And this is wrong!!! As the Dan-Brown-Generation now well knows, Jesus was married w/ children... maybe in a year or so we'll even learn he was the greatest womanizer in entire Bethlehem!!!:D
~ And by that i brought just another Oldie-but-Goldie from deepest basement back 2 light!!:)
-- :eek: referrin' 2 the thread of course!!!! -- :skull-big

[Ntense]

I'm not saying, but...

http://img157.imagevenue.com/loc972/th_67903_scorgingatthepillar_123_972lo.jpg (http://img157.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=67903_scorgingatthepillar_123_972lo. jpg) http://img17.imagevenue.com/loc803/th_67909_jesus_leather_123_803lo.jpg (http://img17.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=67909_jesus_leather_123_803lo.jpg) http://img175.imagevenue.com/loc532/th_67915_lovin5jesus_123_532lo.jpg (http://img175.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=67915_lovin5jesus_123_532lo.jpg)

Jesus is cumming! Duck!

[clan_hunter]

Jesus was gay! Yes, you read that right! Think about it. He never married, traveled around with a bunch of other men who all loved him and each other and told everyone to love one another. Now if that aint a flaming homo what is? :D



I can see it now when you reach the pearly gates man, the lord is going to use you as this bitch for this.

[sindyloo]

Fucking A!!! If Jesus doesnt have a sense of Humor...Fuck him then!??:skull-thu :skull-big :skull-big


You will know you were wrong when the trapdoor in the clouds open and you fall!!:eek: :eek:


Speaking of Jesus...anyone know what kind of car they traveled in??


It was a Honda!! Because as everyone knows Jesus and the apostles where all in one..ACCORD!!:) :D

[Ntense]

Honest, I looked *really* hard and couldn't find Jesus on a St. Andrews Cross!

I found the leather pic on a Gay Christian Men's blog. It was a hoot. :)

Just think of it as 'brotherly love'... (or does that belong in the incest forum?)

[sindyloo]

Not dumb at all dear! really good question.

He took his body with him....when he ascended up to Heaven!! The holiest Muslim place is the Doom of the Rock!! Which proves it! There is his footprint in the solid rock...which was caused by his divine powers when he left Earth!

[Becka]

Ok then, if thats true then why doesnt everybody elses bodies dissapear but i suppose the catholic church has an answer for any thing that i can come up with to disprove the existence of god.

Not Catholic myself but it is very, very difficult to prove that something does not exist, especially historically.

B.

[sindyloo]

Awww but Dear religion isnt on you!?? It is in you...at least it is supposed to be!?;) ;)


And supposedly the Book you refer to was given to us by God?? and was written for him by men(hope they got it right??:eek: )!!


Now there is a future time coming in those who are RIGHT by God will be taken up bodily into the clouds when the trumpet sounds!??


Belief is UP to each person and I will put in my Fave Irish quote here..."I will just have another BEER O`Malley?! For if...there is no Beer in Heaven??? Then Heaven I will Have to DRINK it HERE!!":skull-bee :D :D

[Ntense]

With an unfriendly remark like that, I'm not surprised you have -131 rep... :rolleyes: are ya TRYING to get banned again?

[Ntense]

I guess you failed 'common courtesy' in school.

all this heaven and hell seems a bit stupid and quite frankly childish.

That ignorant and unwelcome comment slams EVERYONE that doesn't believe exactly as you do. Since religion is a belief system, it's not provable. Your belief that it's stupid and childish is equally as valid as other people's belief in heaven, but they're polite enough to not shit on YOUR beliefs.

Believe what you will, but your opinion is like your asshole: nobody wants to look at it if you're just gonna spew shit at 'em.

[clan_hunter]

I guess you failed 'common courtesy' in school.



That ignorant and unwelcome comment slams EVERYONE that doesn't believe exactly as you do. Since religion is a belief system, it's not provable. Your belief that it's stupid and childish is equally as valid as other people's belief in heaven, but they're polite enough to not shit on YOUR beliefs.

Believe what you will, but your opinion is like your asshole: nobody wants to look at it if you're just gonna spew shit at 'em.


Whoa Heavy Man,:skull-thu

But we know thought that when you have a topic like religion on a public board its going to turn into "I believe, I dont believe" debate even if the orginal question is nothing to do with believing in a faith.

Aside from WW1 and a few others most wars have been over this very subject.

[MADDOGMCMANAMAN]

my friends - LIFE IS ALL ABOUT PUSSY !!!!!!

[Ntense]

Hey, I think *everyone* has the right to believe what they will! You folks would probably laugh your asses off at my concept of "the nature of the universe". Yoda would understand, though I think he's a little more Zen than Tao.

It needn't devolve into a flame war unless some of the kiddies get cranky and need to be sent to their room for some "quiet time". I 'spect that's happened more times than anyone cares to remember.

It started off light-hearted, so let's keep it that way! :) I like making fun of everything, particularly my own foibles.

[Ntense]

To lighten it up a little, I can *prove* he was gay! After all, I found it on the Internet, so it must be true! :D

Amazon.com - 'Jesus Was Gay' (http://anonym.to/?http://www.amazon.com/o/ASIN/B00000DI3S/105-0203463-2365278?SubscriptionId=1NP56Y8QKPN1AZERGY02)

[clan_hunter]

Ha HA,


I listened to the sample songs, Ronald Fucking MacDonald. What a classic.

Would not pay $13 for that cd thought, its shit.

[Becka]

There gets a point where its not beliveable anymore. At first you think sure this could happen but then you start to doubt and question if its all true. Those with sense will anyway.

Which comment are you referring to here?

B.

[clan_hunter]

There gets a point where its not beliveable anymore. At first you think sure this could happen but then you start to doubt and question if its all true. Those with sense will anyway.


This is not a thread to discuss if God, Jesus, Santa Claus or the fucking tooth fairy exists its a humourous thread piss taking Jesus.

Stop making this a serious discusion.


Find a christian forum if you want to debate religion.

[Ntense]

(points up) ... what clan_hunter said.

I said you were ENTITLED to your opinion, I never said I wanted to hear it! Take it over to the Rowdy Room if you don't want to play. Keep it up here, and we'll make a game out of you (how much negative rep does it take to ban this silly fucker the second time??)

WARNING: PERSONAL INSULT

Here's a small handful from loljesus.com

http://img175.imagevenue.com/loc587/th_27170_alllol_122_587lo.jpg (http://img175.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=27170_alllol_122_587lo.jpg) http://img157.imagevenue.com/loc714/th_27176_bj3_122_714lo.jpg (http://img157.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=27176_bj3_122_714lo.jpg) http://img34.imagevenue.com/loc745/th_27188_reach_around_122_745lo.jpg (http://img34.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=27188_reach_around_122_745lo.jpg) http://img7.imagevenue.com/loc1192/th_27183_lastsupper2_122_1192lo.JPG (http://img7.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=27183_lastsupper2_122_1192lo.JPG) http://img176.imagevenue.com/loc9/th_27182_gays_122_9lo.JPG (http://img176.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=27182_gays_122_9lo.JPG)

and of course I *had* to finish with "God the Rapist"
http://img140.imagevenue.com/loc145/th_27259_God_the_rapist_122_145lo.jpg (http://img140.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=27259_God_the_rapist_122_145lo.jpg)

[ego]

Find a christian forum if you want to debate religion.
Or go to Clan's "Do you believe in god" thread. ;)

[Ntense]

(laughing) and one of your quotes from THAT thread (http://www.rapeboard.com/showthread.php?t=5179) is particularly valid HERE...

"Him who wants can come behind me" - Jesus :D

[ego]

i wasn't i was kind of speaking to myself im weird like that :)
Something like thinking loudly? :D

[Ntense]

http://i10.tinypic.com/63wuseo.jpg

'Nuff said. Now can we *please* get back to the original topic?!?

Hmmm. I'm gonna twist it a bit. What's up with his left hand, and why in hell isn't he listed as a Level 2 Sex Offender?

http://i8.tinypic.com/4z4igk1.jpg

[clan_hunter]

Looks like we know now where Santa Claus got his idea's from.

[sindyloo]

Ummm yes?? and what the hell was with him and JOHN??? like come on already sheesh!!


And at the last Supper...where the hell was Johns hand when Jesus hands were above the table!!;) :eek: :D

[MADDOGMCMANAMAN]

i think this thread is sacreligious!!


jesus was not gay









HE WAS A DONKEY FUCKER !!!

thats why he was in the fucking stable all the time !! he was having it AWAY IN A MANGER !!!! lol

[Ntense]

http://img5.imagevenue.com/loc710/th_01072_jesus38_underpants_122_710lo.jpeg (http://img5.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=01072_jesus38_underpants_122_710lo.j peg) http://img22.imagevenue.com/loc1055/th_01074_jesus_wtf_big_122_1055lo.jpg (http://img22.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=01074_jesus_wtf_big_122_1055lo.jpg) http://img138.imagevenue.com/loc38/th_01079_jesusart_122_38lo.jpg (http://img138.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=01079_jesusart_122_38lo.jpg)

Yeah, I'm with the folks in the second-floor dorm room...

Another way to tell he was gay: the crucifix was punishment. That's why they mounted him on the cross face-out so his friends couldn't say "good bye" in that special way.

Gee, can a Taoist be damned for taking the Lord's name in vein? :rolleyes:

[Ntense]

Jeez, do I gotta draw ya a picture?

http://i13.tinypic.com/63w30bo.gif