Just for laughs!!

[sindyloo]

Couple of things to help people through the rest of the week!:skull-coo

[Hellcat]

:p

[Hellcat]

:skull-con

[Hellcat]

:D :D oh if only Phantom

[dashrendar44]

http://www.coxandforkum.com/archives/CultureClash-X.gif
LOL, the meaninglessness(long word...@_@) of that arguement and the people in mind bring forth memories of an arguement between a certain marshall and a certain snale in the rowdy room.....:skull-big :skull-big :skull-thu :skull-thu :D :D

[Andering REDDSON]

¿Anyone know where to find Zombie Whistles?

[Luke rape stalker]

and this you find exciting?


Greets to Squidley :skull-bee

[Hellcat]

and this you find exciting?


Greets to Squidley :skull-bee



:skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con

...i think i missed the punchline ..........



ahhhh.... ok i got it now....:skull-red

[dashrendar44]

:skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con

...i think i missed the punchline ..........
your not alone HC.....heke???? @_______________________@:skull-con :skull-con :skull-con

[Hellcat]

your not alone HC.....heke???? @_______________________@:skull-con :skull-con :skull-con


and i have tried googling for a Zombie Whistle as well... i must definitly be missing something here ....oh well:skull-con

[dashrendar44]

and i have tried googling for a Zombie Whistle as well... i must definitly be missing something here ....oh well:skull-con
LOLOLOL, im sure thatd sell like hotcakes to all these fuckhead lurkers lol, nothing better to do but go to a forum but have absolutely ZERO input, bloody sods.....*continues to grumble insults as i pace back and forth*

[Hellcat]

Ah... well Dash, my little furry friend.... i have just the book for all the Lurkers ....:skull-evi :skull-evi

[dashrendar44]

Ah... well Dash, my little furry friend.... i have just the book for all the Lurkers ....:skull-evi :skull-evi
LOLOL, OMFG THAT WAS PERFECT!!! now they just need to revise it from holes to assholes and market it to french people XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[Andering REDDSON]

Amusing.

Anyways, there’s a daily cartoon, “Lio”, abiout this… Well, REALLY WEIRD kid. One day he ordered a Zombie Whistle, and, well…. They came.

[sindyloo]

Phantom that was very funny thank you!:skull-lov


Okay its spring so everyone TIME to start training for your Local Ironman Competition!!:skull-big :skull-big

[Hellcat]

:skull-win

[Louise]

In her later years Elastigirl felt her superpowers were a bit of a drag...

[Luke rape stalker]

Louise you´re pervert!!

yes you really pervert. :D

[Hellcat]

Its not just the Players that like to celebrate a goal!!

[ego]

Outs! Do you still like high heels?

[Hellcat]

Kinda ties in with your photo i guess Ego ... and its very true!!:skull-big

[Luke rape stalker]

nice attempt hellcat. but you should know....

I´m stronger and have the gun... I make the rules!

:D

[ego]

OK!! This thread has gone from funny too SICK, way too fast...(what do you expect?....):eek::skull-thr

Well, i find extremelly funny the fact that these balls are not mine! Dont you?

Ah, cat, leave the field without water and in a week or two we speak again about who rules ;)
A friend of mine said once: "Pussy is nothing.All the honey is on the dick!"
Yes, he was gay....
:D

[Hellcat]

So, are you going to answer it or shall i

[Louise]

Hey...watch what youre doing...these could blow at any time..

[Hellcat]

This is one fad diet that i can see becoming popular :D

[Luke rape stalker]

you want hot chicks??

[Luke rape stalker]

hungry?

[Luke rape stalker]

the bitter end

[Luke rape stalker]

Bbq

[Luke rape stalker]

speechless

[Hellcat]

:p

[Hellcat]

Anyone here brave enough!!! :D

[Hellcat]

:skull-eek :skull-eek :skull-eek @Phantom

[ego]

Hey Cat, look the truth: :D :D :D

http://img13.imagevenue.com/loc488/th_06747_1361_122_488lo.jpg (http://img13.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=06747_1361_122_488lo.jpg)

Ooooops!

http://img169.imagevenue.com/loc540/th_06869_1268_122_540lo.jpg (http://img169.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=06869_1268_122_540lo.jpg)http://img171.imagevenue.com/loc530/th_06871_1371_122_530lo.jpg (http://img171.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=06871_1371_122_530lo.jpg)http://img149.imagevenue.com/loc539/th_06872_1372_122_539lo.jpg (http://img149.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=06872_1372_122_539lo.jpg)http://img21.imagevenue.com/loc376/th_06876_1385_122_376lo.jpg (http://img21.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=06876_1385_122_376lo.jpg)

[Hellcat]

LMAO @Ego :skull-big

No wonder he fainted with all the blood rushing from his head like that!

[dashrendar44]

Lolololol

[Luke rape stalker]

xx..xx

[Hellcat]

Ok.... how would all you guys like to see a picture of a topless Girl :skull-thu :skull-big

[dashrendar44]

@____________________________________@:skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con :skull-con

[Hellcat]

I know Dash... it freaked me when i first saw it :skull-big :skull-big so funny... i assume its photoshopped though:skull-big

[dashrendar44]

I know Dash... it freaked me when i first saw it :skull-big :skull-big so funny... i assume its photoshopped though:skull-big
lol, no shit sherlock XDDD:skull-big :skull-big

[Hellcat]

lol, no shit sherlock XDDD:skull-big :skull-big


well, it was elementary my dear Dash :skull-big

[dashrendar44]

LOL, i bet bush could turn that shirt into a political platform *a la bush* "what we need to do, is fuck every virgin in the country! then, hehehe, then! theres none left for the terrorists in heaven! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!" what a bunghole XDDD

[Wiz]

And now for a very short vid (< 1 Mb).
http://rapidshare.com/files/22498343/HairRemovalAR.wmv

[sindyloo]

Wiz so damn funny and wicked loved it but like!? OUCH!!!!!!!!!:skull-eek :skull-eek :skull-cry

Would love too see you guys try it?? Any guys out there brave enough??:skull-big :skull-big

[Wiz]

No thank-you sindy. Not me! But it does give a guy an increased appreciation of what some of you ladies sustain so that we may reap the benefit :skull-thu .

[sindyloo]

"HURRY DEAR!! Fuck me faster. we HAVE to OBEY the SIGN!!:skull-thu

[ego]

ENOUGH!!!

OR:

[Wiz]

ENOUGH!!!

OR:

Must concur with this sentiment ego. Never thought the day would come when I would say this, but I think that I've seen enough pictures of pussy :D

Oh, and sindy, it would be my pleasure, but not too fast OK. Like the enjoyment of a fine wine, the experience needs to be savored. Fuck the damn sign.

[sindyloo]

If you want to Wiz? But think you would find More Pleasure With ME!!??:skull-win :skull-win :skull-big

[Wiz]

Oh, no doubt about that. Sindy, sweetheart, you must learn to recognize the difference between literal and figurative. Now, when it comes to pleasuring myself:
You , literally :skull-roc
Sign, figuratively

Besides, I don't know how to literally fuck a sign, and I really don't want to know. Gaggy probably knows :skull-sai . I figure that anyone who once helped a guy fuck a door would surely know how to fuck a sign :D .

[Louise]

Giddy up

[dashrendar44]

wow lou...just wow XDDDDD

[Wiz]

Geez Louise, you're going to be giving dude ideas....his Queen and his steed could be one-in-the-same :D . Rid'em cowboy.

[Louise]

I was thinking about the dynamics of sex with her...the butt is easy enough..but the pussy...that would be difficult...lol

[Wiz]

Oh well, it's not nearly as much fun when it's easy.

You know, of course, that this will likely get MADDOGMCMANAMAN started again don't you.

[dashrendar44]

dammit, didnt we just shut him up? XDDDDDDDD jks

[ego]

Who said seals are innocent?

[sindyloo]

LOVE THIS EGO!! What The Fuck?? So strange disturbing and funny too! Hmmm Asian people threatended by rabid Seal?? OH I get it!!:skull-thu :skull-thu

GODSealZZA or It Came from the Sea!! umm SEALed Fate!??:skull-coo :confused: Better stop so dont want to upset people?!:skull-coo

[ego]

VanHellseal!!!

[sindyloo]

AWWWW!!! much better love it EGO!!:skull-thu

And maybe a series of movies?? The Seal of Death part1 and 2 etc?? or........"A American seal in Japan?" Last one before everyone gags!?? "Silence of the SEALS!!":skull-eek

[ego]

"Nightmare in the seal's port"
"Irreversealed"
"7th seal"
"Nights with my seal"
"I know what you sealed last summer"
:D:D:D:D

[Dutch_Rapist]

At the risk of losing my last bits of menace/attraction in the eyes of the ladies here:
Here's why swinging and alcohol don't mix. This is what happened to me a few years ago at another couple's place:

[Hellcat]

I shall resist the temptation to say the first thing that crosses my mind (always a wise thing with me:D ) and simply say that there are certain aspects of that picture that attracts me:skull-lov

[Dutch_Rapist]

I shall resist the temptation to say the first thing that crosses my mind (always a wise thing with me:D ) and simply say that there are certain aspects of that picture that attracts me:skull-lov

I shall resist the temptation to ask what said first thing that crossed your mind but which you're not going to say was, as it would probably be a serious blow to my self esteem. ;)
I will however venture a guess as to which part of the picture attracts you: everything above the hairline?

[Hellcat]

well the first things to ever cross my mind usually falls in the dirty/wicked category:skull-evi and as you went and covered up everything below the hairline i shall just have to resort to my imagination....:skull-lov :skull-lov

i am kind of reminded of those Turkish war helmets (think they were Turkish) around 1300... that had a huge spike out the top...and they used to charge there enemies... i can certainly see potential with your interesting head gear Dutch *sighs*:skull-lov

[Dutch_Rapist]

well the first things to ever cross my mind usually falls in the dirty/wicked category:skull-evi and as you went and covered up everything below the hairline i shall just have to resort to my imagination....:skull-lov :skull-lov

i am kind of reminded of those Turkish war helmets (think they were Turkish) around 1300... that had a huge spike out the top...and they used to charge there enemies... i can certainly see potential with your interesting head gear Dutch *sighs*:skull-lov

I've covered up most of my face because I looked like a cross-eyed drooling drunk on that picture. :o
Only Gaggirl has seen my face (in better conditions).

Turkish war helmets (yes, they were)... ooh, sounds interesting. I could charge at you... *sees some interesting visuals inside his head*
Vlad the Impaler has nothing on me! :D

[Louise]

Turkish war helmets (yes, they were)... ooh, sounds interesting. I could charge at you... *sees some interesting visuals inside his head*
Vlad the Impaler has nothing on me! :D

Oi...watch it you...talking about my ancestor there! :p ;) :D

Talking about impaling...i really must get back to my RP reply...x

[sindyloo]

How interesting DUTCH!! Look its a DICKHEAD!!:skull-big :skull-big But?? Oh my kinky and Umm interesting?? Lets see if I climb up there on his shoulders and Lower myself down?!:skull-evi

Gives a whole new meaning to that song.......BANG YOUR HEADS!!:skull-roc :skull-lov

[Dutch_Rapist]

How interesting DUTCH!! Look its a DICKHEAD!!:skull-big :skull-big But?? Oh my kinky and Umm interesting?? Lets see if I climb up there on his shoulders and Lower myself down?!:skull-evi


So THAT'S why people called me a dickhead all night! :eek:
As for your idea; now that sounds interesting and unique. Love it. :skull-bee

[Dutch_Rapist]

Oi...watch it you...talking about my ancestor there! :p ;) :D


You too? I heard prince Charles claimed descent form him as well. I once started writing a biography of Vlad, you know, but I left it unfinished because there were too many of them around anyway.

[Louise]

You too? I heard prince Charles claimed descent form him as well. I once started writing a biography of Vlad, you know, but I left it unfinished because there were too many of them around anyway.

Prince Charles is descended from nothing more noble as something found around the back of a public loo in the east end of London after a particularly heavy saturday night.

You try writing a biography of Vlad and you'll end up one of the undead! :skull-evi

[somedude]

I'm descended from a Canadian blacksmith who moved to North Dakota!:D

[Dutch_Rapist]

You try writing a biography of Vlad and you'll end up one of the undead! :skull-evi

You've been reading the historian! I like!

[dashrendar44]

LOL, im decended from irish loyalists that used to live in VA then came to canada.....so garden variety TT______________________TT

[Louise]

You've been reading the historian! I like!


:D :D Thats three of us now then...:skull-thu

[drmephisto]

2137

FLASH! Space cadet arrested for violating weapons laws!



2138

If you don't laugh at this you don't have a sence of humor!

[Hellcat]

:D :D Thats three of us now then...:skull-thu


Another reason i seem strangely drawn to you Dutch :skull-thu

[Dutch_Rapist]

Another reason i seem strangely drawn to you Dutch :skull-thu

I was a teenage goth once upon a time, during my misspent youth. I have incredibly embarrassing photographic evidence of me dressed up as a vampire. :o

[Hellcat]

I was a teenage goth once upon a time, during my misspent youth. I have incredibly embarrassing photographic evidence of me dressed up as a vampire. :o


:skull-lov :skull-lov :skull-lov :skull-lov

[innocent]

I was a teenage goth once upon a time, during my misspent youth. I have incredibly embarrassing photographic evidence of me dressed up as a vampire. :o
lol join the cub! theres a few of us on here!

[Dutch_Rapist]

:skull-lov :skull-lov :skull-lov :skull-lov

I'll wear it for you one day, then! :skull-win
*puts out a saucer of milk dressed like Bela Lugosi, gag and cuffs hidden under cloak*
"Here, kitty, kitty..."

[sindyloo]

Very cute phantom! ITS KRYPTO the Super Dog!!:skull-thu But dont know what the rest of the crap he has on himis for?? And by his look hes thinking........"STUPID HUMAN!! Get this CRAP OFF!!":skull-big :skull-big

[sindyloo]

Well its off to work for me and thought since I have to suffer?!........Y`all might as well suffer thru this really bad joke as well...........:skull-thr


The Tomato family is walking down the sidewalk and the little one keeps falling behind!

The father Tomato keeps telling him to hurry up and gets madder each time!

Finally he loses it and angrily goes back picks up the little Tomato and hurls him against the wall and says............"KETCH...UP!!!!"

[Dutch_Rapist]

God, Sindy, what are you doing to us? :skull-tic
To make up for that you're going to have to assume the position.

And now for something really, really scary. This is why rape was invented, to prevent even scarier things happening!
Watch it to the end for the truly hilarious opinions of the girls! :skull-big
(I couldn't link directly to the clip for some reason, just play it on the site)

http://fleshbot.com/sex/found/air-sex-fuck-like-the-wind-252207.php

[sindyloo]

HOLY CRAP!!!! DUTCH that was freaking funny as hell THANKS!!:skull-thu :skull-big

No fucking wonder Japan has a strict population control!!:skull-eek :skull-thr



So done with work and its my weekend! YESSSSssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!

So here is something else weird and off the wall but some country folks might have heard of this??

What it is is up here in the Northwest we have something we call Taint.....It`s that little patch of skin between a girls pussy and asshole!?

It Taint pussy and it Taint ass But??? One slip of the Tongue and your in DEEP SHIT!!:skull-eek

[Hellcat]

Well thats a new one on me Sindy...thanks :D :D :D ... and Dutch! what are you trying to do to me, ive apologised about the clowns already!! :skull-big :skull-big :skull-thr

[Dutch_Rapist]

Well thats a new one on me Sindy...thanks :D :D :D ... and Dutch! what are you trying to do to me, ive apologised about the clowns already!! :skull-big :skull-big :skull-thr

We should have these guys dress up like clowns and perform in a circus! :skull-thu
Now, where did I leave that coneshaped clown hat? I seem to recall using it somewhere near you. *looks around*

[Hellcat]

Oh... erm... is that what it was ...ahem..:skull-red :skull-red

Here ya go Dutch :D :o

[drmephisto]

Well thats a new one on me Sindy...thanks :D :D :D ... and Dutch! what are you trying to do to me, ive apologised about the clowns already!! :skull-big :skull-big :skull-thr


What he looked like when she got up...

2540


and when she sat on his face!

2541

[Dutch_Rapist]

Oh... erm... is that what it was ...ahem..:skull-red :skull-red


Yes, the first one was the hat, remember? But it wouldn't fit too well, so we had to improvise using something else and unfortunately I forgot to bring anything else with me. :skull-big

[Hellcat]

LMAO @ DrM.... :D:D

aaahhh, Dutch... your erm... special hat... how could i forget (ramming speed indeed) ;) :o

[Luke rape stalker]

35,5% of all household accidents happens in the shower!

[Hellcat]

One thing you have to love about Latex is its figure hugging properties... erm then again perhaps thats not such a good thing :skull-eek :skull-eek

[Hellcat]

Not the greatest sales pitch... cant say i would rush out and buy one:rolleyes:

[Hellcat]

Im so having to amuse myself today :skull-red

Ok... a joke, though im pretty crap at telling them

Punishments In Hell

Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the
punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to
select his first punishment.

First room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. The
new guy not keen on this asks to see the next room. The next
room has a middle aged guy being tortured with fire.

The new guy immediately asks to see the third room. It has an
really old ugly guy chained to the wall getting a blow job from a
gorgeous blonde.

The guy jumps at the chance and takes the room.

The devil walks into the room taps the blonde on the shoulder
and says "okay, you can stop now. You've been relieved".

[Wiz]

Im so having to amuse myself today :skull-red ....

Bored eh. Assume the position indicated below, and I'll be right over :skull-big

[Wiz]

Im so having to amuse myself today :skull-red ...

Maybe you just need a drink...

[Wiz]

If and when the day arrives that ole Wiz requires some assistance from the pharmaceutical industry, this is the stuff that I'm buying.

[Hellcat]

Bored eh. Assume the position indicated below, and I'll be right over :skull-big

i could offer you a Wonderful Weekday Welcome Wiz...:skull-big :skull-big



Maybe you just need a drink...

OMG!! i just had a flashback to last Friday at the Student bar :skull-sic



mmmm. think ive seen this guy somewhere before ?!?:D

[Wiz]

Actually, I was feeling kinda bored myself the other day when the wife was working some OT, and ended up in the ER at her hospital.

[Wiz]

OMG!! i just had a flashback to last Friday at the Student bar :skull-sic .....

Ohhhhhhh, kitty had her own little hellish barferama at the Student bar did she :skull-big .

Now, if your mother had practised this alternative to breast feeding, you may have been OK.

[Hellcat]

Ohhhhhhh, kitty had her own little hellish barferama at the Student bar did she :skull-big .

Now, if your mother had practised this alternative to breast feeding, you may have been OK.


Very true Wiz, never mind i'm getting all the practice in that i can now... thought i'd show you a picture of my student digs :skull-big :skull-big

[ego]

When a cat is boring, she uses her laptop.....

[sindyloo]

HOW CUTE!! Looks like kitty got TIRED of waiting for the MOUSE!!??:skull-thu :skull-big :skull-big

[Wiz]

Very true Wiz, never mind i'm getting all the practice in that i can now... thought i'd show you a picture of my student digs :skull-big :skull-big

In eight years at university, I don't think that I ever let my student digs get looking quite that bad.....well maybe, and I just don't remember :D . Clearly, you got A+ in Advanced Beer Consumption 401 and an F in Basic Housekeeping 101. Where's the bed?....hopefully not under the cans :D .

[Wiz]

When a cat is boring, she uses her laptop.....

Nice pic ego. Even when she uses her laptop, our kitty's on her back with her legs in the air :skull-big . Don't ever change HC.

[insignia0]

i hope u have more claws than this mouse HC

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=449648&in_page_id=1770

[Dutch_Rapist]

Something to give you nice dreams.
This happened a few streets away from me yesterday when bikini girls washing cars met one of our colorful friends.
Not sure what happened afterwards, use your imagination! :skull-win

[sindyloo]

Hmm looks to me like the Clown showed up too give the Girls a nice long juicy dog for each of them??:skull-thu :skull-evi

[Hellcat]

Something to give you nice dreams.
This happened a few streets away from me yesterday when bikini girls washing cars met one of our colorful friends.
Not sure what happened afterwards, use your imagination! :skull-win


Now thats a dangerous thing to get me to use... you know how much trouble using my imagination usually gets me into :skull-thu

I am wondering what he's hiding under his hat though Dutch :skull-win :skull-thu x

[horny_asian]

here's afew to laugh at

[my dark side]

i dont get the first one sorry. A bit slow these days:skull-red

[Wiz]

So, did ya hear about this gay chap who decided that lighting a fart would be an excellent way to meet a buff fireman.

[sindyloo]

Great ones asian thanks!!:skull-thu

dark dear?? you would only "depend" on the first one if you have Bladder control Problems!?

Wiz........What the hell is the Fireman looking at???:eek: :skull-coo :D

[my dark side]

Thanks Sindy, after having another look and thinking bout what you said i finally get it.

My bad, im a bit slow these days :o

[Wiz]

Well Sindy dearest, the fireman appears to be fixated on the gay guy's butt above him likely hoping that it's not going to take a dump; however, who knows, maybe the fireman is a gay blade himself and has other plans for the butt that he's looking at :D

[Hellcat]

10 things men would do if they had a Vagina (of their own) for the day! :D

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.

[Louise]

Nice try mate...

[Hellcat]

With exams looming for me... i came across these real examples of some whacked out answers to exam questions....

[Hellcat]

Full marks for logical reasoning if nothing else....

[Hellcat]

I guess its difficult to argue with this one....

[Wiz]

Have you noticed that more and more folks seem to be exercising this particular "right" lately?

[Hellcat]

Another example of idiocy in the school system... though who knows...:p

[drmephisto]

Do you mean for the question or the answer?

[Hellcat]

Well i have the correct answer written down in front of me DrM... perhaps i should have you in my office for talking back :D ;)


Porn for the Blind ;)

[Wiz]

Talk about getting shafted from on high.

[Louise]

Air bags? Water wings?

[Louise]

Go on, I dare you...

http://rapidshare.com/files/27851609/docker18.wmv.html

[drmephisto]

Well i have the correct answer written down in front of me DrM... perhaps i should have you in my office for talking back :D ;)


Porn for the Blind ;)


No, just keep me after school.:D :skull-big

[drmephisto]

2661

[ego]

Come on Dr. Not everyone driving a mercedes is a terrorist.....

Go on, I dare you...

http://rapidshare.com/files/27851609/docker18.wmv.html
:eek: My god! I hope he didnt injured her!

[Wiz]

Go on, I dare you...

http://rapidshare.com/files/27851609/docker18.wmv.html

Ewwwww...Oh Lou, way to gross me out :skull-thr :skull-thr .

[Louise]

Ewwwww...Oh Lou, way to gross me out :skull-thr :skull-thr .

Muwahahahahahahahaha :skull-evi

[Hellcat]

OMG Lou... not often im lost for words :skull-big

[Hellcat]

Now Lou, The cat got HER Tongue!!! What does that tell you!?!?!:eek:

:rolleyes: :D ;)


BTW Phantom... isnt that the chick from you hottest bitch thread... i bet the earth moved :skull-big

[drmephisto]

[QUOTE=ego]Come on Dr. Not everyone driving a mercedes is a terrorist.....


Oh Ego,LMFAO:skull-big :skull-big :skull-big :D

[drmephisto]

Go on, I dare you...

http://rapidshare.com/files/27851609/docker18.wmv.html




He must be in love!!!:skull-big

[sindyloo]

Just a fun thing to watch out for! one of my professors pulled a good lesson on how IMPORTANT it was to follow directions on tests!

"Read the Directions before doing ANY TESTS!!" He always stated before handing out his tests!

So luckily I kept this in the back of my mind during our first Mid-Term exam. Unlike the others in our class that didnt pay attention!!

Top of Test sheet was a paragraph stating......"DO NOT DO ANYTHING!!" Read this understand it and follow directions!" 1. Dont fill out name. 2. Turn paper over. 3. sit quietly until I take paper then leave Classroom!!. 4. Congrats you got a A!!

So.......8 of us out of twenty followed directions and tried very hard to not laugh. we sat outside in the hallway waiting for others to come out?? And no one else did!!!!........:skull-big :skull-big

All the rest flunked the first Mid-Term of Psych Class!!:D

[Hellcat]

Thanks for the advice there huni... with my exams coming up in 2 weeks time... i may just give that a try :D

[Hellcat]

Hostages

A murderer, imprisoned for life, broke free after 15 years and was on the run. He broke into a house and tied up the young couple he found in the bedroom; the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife to the bed. The helpless husband watched him get on the bed, straddle his wife and start to nuzzle her neck. His wife started to move her head violently, at which the man got up and left the room.

The husband squirmed the chair across the room to his young wife and hissed, "Darling, I saw him kissing you. He probably hasn't seen a woman in years. Please cooperate. If he wants to have sex, just go along with it and even pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives may depend on it!"

"Darling," the wife said, spitting out her gag. "I'm so relieved you feel that way. He wasn't kissing me, he was whispering to me. He told me he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom."

[innocent]

deleted

[Hellcat]

:D Thanks...

[drmephisto]

In her later years Elastigirl felt her superpowers were a bit of a drag...



I'm sorry but this should be illegal!:skull-eek

[drmephisto]

Thanks for the advice there huni... with my exams coming up in 2 weeks time... i may just give that a try :D




Is this the reading between the lines class?:skull-con

[drmephisto]

Hostages

A murderer, imprisoned for life, broke free after 15 years and was on the run. He broke into a house and tied up the young couple he found in the bedroom; the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife to the bed. The helpless husband watched him get on the bed, straddle his wife and start to nuzzle her neck. His wife started to move her head violently, at which the man got up and left the room.

The husband squirmed the chair across the room to his young wife and hissed, "Darling, I saw him kissing you. He probably hasn't seen a woman in years. Please cooperate. If he wants to have sex, just go along with it and even pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives may depend on it!"

"Darling," the wife said, spitting out her gag. "I'm so relieved you feel that way. He wasn't kissing me, he was whispering to me. He told me he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom."




And his reaction was :skull-eek

:skull-big :skull-big :skull-big

[Hellcat]

Is this the reading between the lines class?:skull-con

When speaking to woman an ability to 'read between the lines' is a damn useful one to have :skull-big :skull-big

[drmephisto]

When speaking to woman an ability to 'read between the lines' is a damn useful one to have :skull-big :skull-big



No truer words were ever spoken feline from hell!

[Hellcat]

Duct tape is just so damn versatile :skull-thu

[drmephisto]

Looks Like A Sumo Wrestler.:skull-big

[sindyloo]

GOD YES!!! Thank you DUCT TAPE!! Or uhh Butt crack censors which ever it is!!???:skull-thu :skull-coo

Well here are some really bad jokes cause I am fucking bored! Its either tell these or play with myself sooo......:cool:

What do you call a Busload of politicans at the bottom of a Lake!??? A damn good start!

What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?? You can unscrew the light Bulb!

How many shrinks does it take to change a light Bulb?? Only one! But the Bulb must really be willing to Change!!

What does the Star Ship Enterprise and Toliet Paper have in common?? They both Circle Ur....Anus and wipe out Kling......Ons!!

AHHH...the hell with this going to play with myself!!:skull-evi :D

[Wiz]

Just a fun thing to watch out for! one of my professors pulled a good lesson on how IMPORTANT it was to follow directions on tests!

"Read the Directions before doing ANY TESTS!!" He always stated before handing out his tests!

So luckily I kept this in the back of my mind during our first Mid-Term exam. Unlike the others in our class that didnt pay attention!!

Top of Test sheet was a paragraph stating......"DO NOT DO ANYTHING!!" Read this understand it and follow directions!" 1. Dont fill out name. 2. Turn paper over. 3. sit quietly until I take paper then leave Classroom!!. 4. Congrats you got a A!!

So.......8 of us out of twenty followed directions and tried very hard to not laugh. we sat outside in the hallway waiting for others to come out?? And no one else did!!!!........:skull-big :skull-big

All the rest flunked the first Mid-Term of Psych Class!!:D

Sindy, I suspect that this Prof is just a lazy bastard....incompetent and irresponsible too if he pulled this stunt on a mid-term. He must be tenured :D
---------------------------------------------------
New Wine for Seniors

California vintners, in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.

It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as...PINO MORE

I Heard it through the grapevine.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer!

[Wiz]

Some women just have no sense of humour :D

[sindyloo]

Honest it wasnt!.......Well is a way to meet cute Firemen!!:skull-coo

After all guys need a more obvious clue that a Gal is in need!:eek: ;)

[Hellcat]

Two deaf people got married. During the first week of marriage, they found they were unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn the lights off because they can't see each other using sign language.
After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time."
The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, now if you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on penis one time."
"If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis....fifty times."

[ego]

To see this, go three steps back.

[Hellcat]

:D priceless

[Hellcat]

:eek:

[sindyloo]

HUH EGO??? can READ it no problem sitting in front of monitor!!:skull-thu :skull-big

Hellcat so damn funny loved it! Sooo which was your work on the guy??:skull-lov

[drmephisto]

Some women just have no sense of humour :D

Touche S.O.F.

[ego]

HUH EGO??? can READ it no problem sitting in front of monitor!!:skull-thu :skull-big
You are such a hot girl i never doubt about this my pretty Sindy!

[Hellcat]

That Paris Hilton is such a vapid trollop and has been caught screwing... yet again!:D

[my dark side]

Hee Hee Hee :skull-big :skull-big :skull-big

Very good Hell, took me a while to get at first ( yet again, damn am i slow at getting some of these things on here :skull-red )

[Hellcat]

It seems that the government.. in their finite wisdom :skull-tic have taken it upon themselves to place more warning labels on your favourite tipple....

Alcohol Warning Labels
1. Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

2. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

3. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

4. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to strangle you.

4. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to strangle you.

4. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to strangle you.

5. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

6. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that your ex is really dying for you to call them at 4:00 in the morning.

7. Consumption of alcohol may cause serious rug burns on the forehead and chin area.

8. Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really big guy named Bubba.

9. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

10. Consumption of alcohol may cause a flux in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to disappear.

11. Consumption of alcohol may result in pregnancy.

12. Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck happened to your pants.

[Louise]

The truth at last...

[Louise]

Well, I usually have a younger retinue...but...open wide ashtray...

[Louise]

You have undoubtedly seen these before...


Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, EU STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

[sindyloo]

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!:skull-lov :skull-lov :skull-lov

[my dark side]

I was told never to play with my food but i just cant resist :D

2728

[my dark side]

http://rapidshare.com/files/28509233/DeerHunterfunny5t.wmv

Hope this words for you all, its a crack up :skull-big :D :skull-big :D :skull-big

[Louise]

Theres that word again...

[Hellcat]

Danger of having sex in the dark..

[Hellcat]

:d :d

[Hellcat]

For all those Ebay whores out there... some handy advice!!

[Hellcat]

:eek:

[Hellcat]

Aint that the truth ;)

Three men walking through the woods get lost and find themselves at a raging river.
As night begins to fall the men turn to prayer.

1st man: Dear God, please help me to cross this river.
*Poof*
A rubber raft appears and the man paddles and fights his way across taking five hours.

2nd man: Dear God, please help me to quickly cross this river.
*Poof*
A wooden boat appears and he rows across to the other side of the river taking three hours.

3rd man: Dear God, please give me the presence of mind, the courage and ability to make it across the river.
*Poof*
The man changes into a woman, she reads the map, and walks over the bridge.

[Hellcat]

Comeback line of the year!

A University teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or
a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student,

shakes her head, and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

[Wiz]

The four stages of life:

[Hellcat]

Im sitting here trying vainly to complete an assignment that i have to get in for Thursday... and bloody Microsoft Word!!!

[sindyloo]

Oh poor Dear?? just remember sweety freaking men invented word! Mostly to torture us women!!:( ;) :)

[Wiz]

"unofficially the official boards killer pussy...purrrrrrrr"

[Hellcat]

Awwww Wiz... thats so damn sweet... :D :D :skull-lov

[Hellcat]

Ouch Phany (indeed) :D

[Hellcat]

Hey i know all you guys love pictures of breasts...so...


Have a look at the Baps on That!!! :D

[Wiz]

Sweetheart, could you step out here for a minute? There's something that I want you to see.

[Hellcat]

Well the sun is out as i write... does anyone fancy some watersports? :D

[Hellcat]

Well i guess this explains a lot

[Louise]

I've been feeling a little down since my birthday, so I thought a trip to the beach would cheer me up!

[Hellcat]

OMG Lou!!! I...I...er...*shudders

Bomb disposal guys are well known for their sense of humour i see:D

[sindyloo]

OH MY GOD HC!!! what a BLAST what a funny BLAST get it huh huh??:skull-thu :skull-big :skull-big


Bet that person will load their pants quickly? But its always nice when a work mate makes your day fun like that!:eek: :D :D

[Hellcat]

OH MY GOD HC!!! what a BLAST what a funny BLAST get it huh huh??:skull-thu :skull-big :skull-big


:p i get it Sindy.... POKE!! do you get it :skull-big :skull-big

actually you will all have to excuse me today, im just not feeling very well :skull-sic

[Hellcat]

OMG Phany!!

When i went on school trips it was just the the British Museum

[Hellcat]

a bite to eat after church perhaps then

[drmephisto]

:skull-big
2768




Reminds me of this guy, Pepe Le Pew. He was a skunk chasing cats, (Hi Hellcat).:skull-big



2772


2773

[Hellcat]

Hello DrM :D :p

Beware low flying aircraft... well you were warned...

[Hellcat]

Perhaps all this studying and reaching deadlines is all in vain, if all i have to do is.....

[Louise]

Dedicated Student??
2781



Ahhh the delight of laptops...now you have to wonder how many times i've been speaking to you or posting in that position...:D

[Wiz]

Ahhh the delight of laptops...now you have to wonder how many times i've been speaking to you or posting in that position...:D

Not a real big laptop fan myself. Here's my preference for "Going On-line."

[Hellcat]

I know im always moaning about my PC.... looks like im not the only one to have bought this particular model though!!

(waits impatiently to get hold of a laptop)

[Hellcat]

Bloody Microsoft errors!

[Wiz]

....(waits impatiently to get hold of a laptop)

I would loan you mine kitty, but Maddog already borrowed it :D

[Louise]

I knew I stepped on something...

[Hellcat]

I would loan you mine kitty, but Maddog already borrowed it :D


erm... thanks wiz.... but you can keep it, especially as i DO know where its been


I knew I stepped on something...


LMAO!! oh god Lou, dont think i've ever laughed so hard... im such a heartless 'bitch' (aaarrgghh!!)

[Louise]

"Hello, Pest Control, how can I help you?"
"Er...yes...I have a...er...problem"

[Louise]

"Hello, Pest Control, how can I help you?"
"Er...its me again...ive got a bigger problem..."

[Hellcat]

oooh... with the size of that ... i guess he should feel lucky he doesn't have Crabs!

[Hellcat]

Says it all really... bloody windows.. but a valuable lesson learnt..ensure everything is backed up on a pen drive :D

[Louise]

Whats wrong with this picture...yeah, I thought that too, look at the state of that carpet...its vile!

[somedude]

That picture is just wrong...LOL:D

[Hellcat]

is he holding a bottle of Whisky in that??

[sindyloo]

HUH??? How do we KNOW that, that isnt a giant Texas Crab??

Poke HC and what the hell Louise those make me go EWWWW!!! And explains why my heel was all messy! Have too keep my shoes away from Luke from now on!:D

And Phantom is lucky he didnt get stung!:skull-thu :skull-big :skull-big

[Hellcat]

Right back at ya Sindy 'Poke'...

[sindyloo]

OH?? hey Hellcat and Louise Lets pick this guy up!! He looks nice and Safe?!:skull-thu :skull-tea :rolleyes:

[Hellcat]

I think we would scare the shit out of him frankly!! he'd run crying to mama *evil grin

[Wiz]

I think we would scare the shit out of him frankly!! he'd run crying to mama *evil grin

Au contraire, the poor SOB would likely expire from an acute case of intimidation :D

[Hellcat]

Au contraire, the poor SOB would likely expire from an acute case of intimidation :D

You are most likely right there Wiz :D

[Hellcat]

:skull-con

[Hellcat]

Guess you can't blame him for trying

[Louise]

Guess what this was made from :D:eek:

[Hellcat]

Guess what this was made from :D:eek:


:eek: OMG!!!... thats what im thinking it is, isnt it!


oh well... if its the first time i guess you would want to advertise it to the world

[Louise]

:eek: OMG!!!... thats what im thinking it is, isnt it!


Its called menstrual art...:D

[Hellcat]

Its called menstrual art...:D

definitely what i was thinking then! actually, for some reason, i just had this idea to start a thread in idle for artistic contributions... give me a couple of weeks though :D

[sindyloo]

EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YUCKKKKIEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Do you have too TALK about that HERE!????

[Hellcat]

I think this is taking goal celebrations a little far ... but whatever pleases you

[Hellcat]

...and not a moment to soo i say... this guy has an ugly cold!

[Hellcat]

Say it again... War...huh...

[Hellcat]

Bloody Windows!

[Hellcat]

:eek:

[Hellcat]

Not too long back, last year i think, they were running a competition to discover the funniest joke in the world... judged by people with a somewhat tentative grasp on the meaning of humour i think....

the 'funniest' UK joke:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

the 'funniest' US joke

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

:skull-tic

[Wiz]

All this talk about religion. I say "Fuck the Devil."

[ego]

This counts as oral? :skull-con :skull-con

[Wiz]

I guess, from the devil's perspective, it does; however....

[Wiz]

In his address today to the UN General Assembly, the Prime Minister of Canada, Mr. Stephen Harper, explained Canada's new immigration policy to the member countries in attendance.

[Louise]

In his address today to the UN General Assembly, the Prime Minister of Canada, Mr. Stephen Harper, explained Canada's new immigration policy to the member countries in attendance.

Hmm...and Canada was my second choice for emigration...sigh, well, just have to find somewhere else I guess...;)

[Wiz]

Hmm...and Canada was my second choice for emigration...sigh, well, just have to find somewhere else I guess...;)

I immediately called Steve and explained to him that I yearned to take a train ride with you during a violent thunderstorm. You are hereby excluded from this new policy :D

[somedude]

Hmm...and Canada was my second choice for emigration...sigh, well, just have to find somewhere else I guess...;)
I know a place...;):D

[Wiz]

I know a place...;):D

Petula Clark, 1965. What do I win?

[ego]

Petula Clark, 1965. What do I win?
A fat cat. No food is included! :D

[Wiz]

Under Canada's Workplace Hazardous Materials Information System (WHMIS), the following is the Material Safety Data Sheet for "Woman":

[Hellcat]

Shit Ego.... what you been feeding that thing!?

[ego]

Now, is this a tree, or an elephant pussy? :skull-con :skull-con

[Wiz]

A fat cat. No food is included! :D

Thanks ego, but I was kinda hoping for a wet pussy :D

[Wiz]

Now, is this a tree, or an elephant pussy? :skull-con :skull-con

Try sticking your dick in there ego. If your hear a moan (thank me later), it's an elephant's pussy. If not, perhaps you can illicit your gf's assistance to treat the abrasions :D

[Hellcat]

Try sticking your dick in there ego. If your hear a moan (thank me later), it's an elephant's pussy. If not, perhaps you can illicit your gf's assistance to treat the abrasions :D

LMAO wiz...:skull-big

[Hellcat]

It looks like the budget for 'the Hobbit' has been drastically reduced when they come to start filming it

[Hellcat]

Liverpudlian Lifeguard

[Hellcat]

I feel more disturbed than i could possibly express

[hornybisexualbitch]

I feel more disturbed than i could possibly express



:skull-thr ,i like older men, but omg that has to be illegal to post.

[sindyloo]

Come on now HBS WIZ doesnt look that Bad?? After all he is 60 and he looks hot in that outfit!!:skull-thu :skull-tea :skull-big :skull-big