Jokes & Fun

[RT85]

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

[RT85]

Paddy is in a night club, he asked a girl "how about a shag then"

She replies "I'm on my menstrual cycle"

"Great" says paddy "I'm on my scooter, I'll follow you home!"

:)

[RT85]

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, 'Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it.'

'Dear,' the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, 'I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you have a really nice, tight-looking ass!!!!!!!'

[RT85]

Donkey Sex Joke

A man is riding aimlessly through the desert on a donkey. He is not hungry or thirsty, because he has a bottomless bowl of fruit. He wanders for about a week and eventually gets pretty horny.

He gets to the point where he can't stand it anymore. So he decides to try and have sex with the donkey. He drops his pants and positions himself under the donkey. But, to his dismay, the donkey walks away.

Only slightly discouraged, the man decides to try again. He walks to where the donkey is standing, positions himself under the donkey, and right before he goes for it, the donkey walks away again.

Now the man is getting frustrated. As he prepares for his third and final try, he sees a vision. A beautiful, naked woman appears out of nowhere. She approaches the stunned man, who until recently, believed that he was the only person for hundreds of miles.

She smiles at him and says, ''I would do anything for that bowl of fruit you have.”

''Anything?'' he says, getting fairly excited.

''Yes, anything.'' she replies.

So he says, ''Will you hold the donkey!?''


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Sex with a ghost joke

SPEAKER: Who among you had experienced having sex with a ghost? (A farmer raised his hand).

SPEAKER: Really? How does it feel to have sex with a ghost?

FARMER: Ooops, i thought you said goats!!!

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Did you hear about the guy who died of Viagra overdose?

They couldn’t close his casket.

[RT85]

Whats the difference between Tiger Woods & Santa?

Santa stopped at 3 Hos