Louise
11-20-2006, 03:57 PM
(thanks Joanna for finding this again)
You climbed off me. Yeah, i saw the guilt in your face...did you really just say "sorry"? You bastard. You fucking bastard. Yeah, you wont look into my eyes...my teary eyes....yet you just took me...raped me...destroyed my innocence...but you couldnt look me in the face...never again will i joke about losing my virginity...because you took it...raped me of it. You bastard. Look at me you fucker...you bastard. I may be crying...my body may be small and fragile now...but you wont take my mind....not now...not ever.
Later, he had my mind after all. I try a pathetic slice at my wrists...oh and swallowing a handful of my mothers ibroprofen...but not too many obviously...look at me...help me...anyone. No one cares silly bitch. Just pick myself off the floor and push me head under the shower...can you drown yourself in a shower?
Later still. You again. Shaking my fathers hand in welcome, smiling and joking, sharing a cigar as you avoid looking at me. Why am I shivering. Shaking like a wet cat? The drunk whore in the corner, my mother, doesnt even notice when I run upstairs. Slamming my door. Hiding under my covers like i was 6 again, in my best party dress...its late. But he opens the door. again. "Sorry" he says. Why...why is he sorry...as he pushes brutally into me again. Why say sorry. The bastard.
You climbed off me. Yeah, i saw the guilt in your face...did you really just say "sorry"? You bastard. You fucking bastard. Yeah, you wont look into my eyes...my teary eyes....yet you just took me...raped me...destroyed my innocence...but you couldnt look me in the face...never again will i joke about losing my virginity...because you took it...raped me of it. You bastard. Look at me you fucker...you bastard. I may be crying...my body may be small and fragile now...but you wont take my mind....not now...not ever.
Later, he had my mind after all. I try a pathetic slice at my wrists...oh and swallowing a handful of my mothers ibroprofen...but not too many obviously...look at me...help me...anyone. No one cares silly bitch. Just pick myself off the floor and push me head under the shower...can you drown yourself in a shower?
Later still. You again. Shaking my fathers hand in welcome, smiling and joking, sharing a cigar as you avoid looking at me. Why am I shivering. Shaking like a wet cat? The drunk whore in the corner, my mother, doesnt even notice when I run upstairs. Slamming my door. Hiding under my covers like i was 6 again, in my best party dress...its late. But he opens the door. again. "Sorry" he says. Why...why is he sorry...as he pushes brutally into me again. Why say sorry. The bastard.